early voting

Here's a helpful site to figure out if you can vote early. In most states, the last day is this Friday or Saturday.

Remember that most change will not come from the ballot you cast. It won't come from an individual with obtuse promises of change, either.

I grew up hearing folklore about the nearby (and still very active) Michigan Militia. They're an organization of property owners throughout the state devoted to self-policing. Imagine the growth they've enjoyed since the passing of the Patriot Act. We have a similar social structure in place out West, too - albeit minus weaponry. They're small, but growing, and their prerogative is to become landowners in remote places. When you have sufficient land, and dig a well, you will be ready for the precarious future. What do you want it to look like?

Think I'm full of it? Ask Colorado residents who were arrested for collecting rainwater for personal use. In Colorado, the state owns all of it.

In the meantime, substantial change can come from the flow of your money. Being that we are a society of ownership and capital, realize the influence your money will have on our shared condition, for better or worse.

the whole series

I got my first introduction to the Ashtanga primary series this weekend. I've taken plenty of flow classes that are inspired by the practice, but this was my first time diving in. It's a more rigorous practice than I'm used to. There are a total of six series, and it comes as no surprise that there are exactly two people on earth who have graduated to the most advanced series (is life long enough?). Joan Hyman noted in class that the first series is for students, the second is appropriate for teachers, and 3-6 are for, ahem, demonstrations (read exalted)?

The focus is on synching movement and breath much more systematically than most other methods I've tried (Kundalini is one exception). It's typical to focus the gaze. Fortunately, no one broke out the metronome this time!

Centering comes from the drishti (gaze) and ujjayi breath. The drishti is often rather awkwardly focused at the tip of the nose: cross-eyed yogis! It's typical also to focus the gaze at the naval or the sky, depending on the asana. For the time being, I will work on a more passive, inward gaze instead. The ujjayi breath is cultivated in the back throat, just behind the voicebox. It's euphemistically called "ocean breath", or "Darth Vader breath" for the overzealous student in class. The action is similar to the one we do to fog a mirror. If you practice that, but keep your mouth closed, you're ready to flow.

There are, of course, the three bandhas as well. They are closely tied to the flow of breath. I will move into that later, because they deserve a post of their own. The image above is of an asana I did for the first time this weekend. It's the kid in me.

Clutz

I am, admittedly, much less graceful than my other yoga compadres. Yesterday I shut my right middle finger in the car door - of course I was in a hurry to get somewhere. I was with my boss at the time and she asked me "Why are some people clumsy? Do you notice the way that some people are often hurting themselves?"

I remember Russ Pfeiffer alluded to the fact that we create imbalances by the way we interact with the world. His favorite illustration was a little hard to grasp. He'd ask us "When you are walking, do your feet hit the ground, or does the ground rise to meet your feet?" Or "Are you moving with your environment or against it?" When I walked with that in mind, it made an enormous difference. Try it.

Anyway, now I'm working on clearing what I perceive to be the correction handed to me as a result of the finger slam. Lots of reiki / psychic body work, and just plain praying I don't have to go to the free clinic. My mudras will be extra fancy now.

more challenges

Most of my homework this past weekend aroused more of those urdhva dhanurasana (upward facing bow pose) memories from last week's backbend clinic. I completed a pretty satisfactory teaching script leading to a UD peak pose, but I still wouldn't want to take my class that day. I don't think I'm alone in saying that asana is absolutely terrifying...and it's not just my tight shoulders. No amount of preparedness can help me to breathe in the pose.

I talked to a teacher training graduate friend of mine, and she said it's important to do the asanas you most dislike. Incidentally, UD is also her least favorite asana.

It reminded me of the time that James Brown told us in class that we avoid stillness in asanas because we fear the way it feels. In his words, we are avoiding the "path" of yoga practice in exchange for a less fulfilled "destination". It's all about the path, people. I'm guilty of gratuitous foot pedaling in down dog, and plenty of shifting and dithering back and forth throughout the class.

How many times have you let your ego win the practice?

food

Okay, barring some immediate world change resulting from yogic enlightenment, I'm betting money that the revolution is food. I spend nearly all my disposable income on food. My employer uses locally grown, organic produce, and I consume organic farmer's market produce almost exclusively.

At a friend's suggestion I just watched "The Future of Food". It's a play-it-now on Netflix for pc users. I cried twice and I still feel pretty petrified about the state of agriculture. In short, the world's food supply is being jeopardized by Monsanto, a multinational agri-corporation.

The film features a few stories about farmers being sued into bankruptcy by Monsanto after being "seeded" involuntarily by Monsanto's GMO crops (to date, this has happened to over 9,000 U.S. farmers). There's a whole host of other injustices and exploitation to boot.

Vote with your money, people!

prop 8

I'd usually abstain from writing about politics, not because it's "polarizing" or "divisive", but because there's nothing more boring than political ennui.

With that said, I'm going to give a resounding endorsement to NO on prop 8.  This is the proposition aiming to eliminate the rights of same-sex couples to marry in California.  it is backed by mostly out-of-state, hopelessly obsolete institutions like Focus on the Family, American Family Association, et al. Imagine the impact if this energy was spent on things like reducing poverty and homelessness, or, say, praying.  I could go on and on.  Unfortunately, people are too gung-ho about investing in categorically repressing others.  For shame. 

There are several opinion pieces that capture the argument here, here, and here.

    

Limits of the body

I had a real gem in my inbox this morning, and it wasn't a dithery one from the Kabbalah Center, either. A really kind classmate had written to share that she broke a metatarsal in her right foot(while descending stairs, not practicing yoga). I felt that immediate knee-jerk sinking mama response. I would excerpt, but I didn't ask her first! She noted that she was sobbing in her car, feeling utter frustration at her predicament.

I can't help but identify completely with feelings of helplessness and emotionality. The "Why me?" response to every pitfall, initially. Who hasn't felt life dictated by emotion? Reading her note, and the wisdom contained within it, I got around to thinking about how physical practice isn't the goal of yoga. Even though we are the vehicle that takes us to higher levels of consciousness, that doesn't mean the vehicle always works. Nor is it really the part of our "bodies" we cultivate as yogis.

Ultimately, of course, she snapped back and knew her injury wouldn't compromise her opportunity to finish the course. All this in the course of probably only a few hours!? I certainly haven't cultivated my inner yogi as much as this fellow student. I can't wait to see how the faculties of the body, and the lack of being able to count on the physical, helps me be a better student.

Beginner

Of everything I've felt in class, I keep being brought back around to humility. Sometimes, just the half-assed, "okay, let me tell you why I'm humbled" kind of humility. Other times, the more challenging "I will receive" kind. I've (mostly) let go of my totally Aries trait of competition. Of course, there are all kinds of unsavory things I wish I didn't identify with that I still do. Incidentally, I also haven't been going to Flow classes.

This weekend we got a terrific tutorial from Kim Fisch about teaching beginners. Again, since the training started I value the more Iyengar-y qualities of making everything parochial. As embarrassing as it is to admit, I realize I haven't even been performing asanas correctly. I don't mean half of them. Almost all of them. OK, broadcasting that hurts.

In any event, now I am absolutely terrified to teach beginners. Imagine feeling all kinds of anxious pride as you trot into your first class to teach. "I'm so excited to share this technology! Yoga changes your life!" (Read that as objectively as possible) Slowly, you realize that this class is the real world, full of real world yoga pedestrians, not just the cherry-picked kind from the covers of Yoga Journal.

Kim reminded me that your classes have to constantly shape-shift to accomodate people who might not be able to do child's pose or down dog, forget the rest of the script. How do you teach these bodies?

If I may include an anecdote: I was at the Iyengar Institute, trying my best. I was on a yoga tour of Los Angeles, so I'd been to maybe fewer than a dozen classes. I always remove my eyeglasses in class (for obvious reasons). I failed to duplicate a subtle adjustment the instructor was demonstrating. He then rushes over to me, steps on my hand and asks "What are you? Blind?"

We did this NINE times today. I'm still digesting that one.

Bent over Backward

Who isn't challenged by a "back problem" these days, anyway? In our mechanized lives and seated-or-standing society, it seems like everybody's dealing with one chronic condition or another. Mine is a self-diagnosed repetitive stress injury sustained sometime in the past 5 years. Twice, I've sprained the same muscle in my lower back, once while taking the Nestea plunge straight into the refrigerator. Yow! Both times, I was unable to stand perpendicular to the ground for about two weeks.

I was dreading the backbend portion of the training for that reason. I always err on the side of ease and relaxation in backbends. You say camel pose (ustrasana), I do assisted bridge. It's one of those fears I'm afraid to conquer; if not out of fear for my health, at least for the health of my insurance-free pockets.

Of course, Sunday's asana practice HAD to climax in camel pose. And, of course, it follows that Amy Lafond is hyper-finessed and flexible in every pose. I guess I should be able to perform the pose if I'm expected to teach it to students in the future, no? Here's where it all made sense: backbends concentrate on the upper spine, not the lower spine - I just wasn't getting it for the past six years.

Class turned into a seminar on learning how to arch the lumbar spine in everything from chaturanga, up dog, and parsvokanasana to almost every backbend imaginable. Firm quadriceps, scapulae pressed inward to the chest, length in the neck - all the instructions I was either ignoring or in too much agony to hear. They're finally making sense! While I doubt my backbends were as aesthetically pleasing as Amy's, at least I left class on my own two feet.

Debates

So we are, apparently, officially in a time of utter turmoil. Economic turmoil, at least. Granted, there's a whole host of other things that might be wrong. Tomorrow night, John McCain and Barack Obama will hum through the same talking points we've already been inundated by. Change to believe in? If I'm lucky, Sarah Palin will be just outside the headline-making periphery.

Surely this isn't the first or last time you'll read about Dow Jones below 10,000. Maybe I'm just insulated, being in a place like L.A. where there's an enormous supply of career service employees or amigos who will get the job done - for a pittance in hard times. All the hysterical recession talk is making me feel even more driven to teach to people who otherwise can't afford the pay-as-you-go "donation" model of yoga. The more I see where the agenda is in popular media, the more I know there's a way to make measurable impact through yoga. No money: Ah, simplicity.


One thing I could certainly use is some body work. I'll take anything available. Thai, Swedish, Chinese, Rolfing, Chiropractic. It's been many months. Do you know, say, anyone who will do a barter?

Wow!

Something really curious happened last night. I tumbled into class, as usual, only somewhat ready for a two hour intensive in pranayama. I have mild pranayama experience with some of the Yogaworks teachers - Jeanne Heilemann, Whitney Allen, they like to do some alternate nostril breathing and Kundalini-style breath-of-fire. You know, the kind of breath that simultaneously brings transformation followed by instant collapse.

Amy Lafond announced that we would do some "simple" prana. A relief, I'm sure, to a class of students working or schooling everyday of the week til Thanksgiving. We did a few restorative poses that melted into another dimension of existence. Was it 30 minutes? An hour and a half? I don't know.

Meditation is a state I have invested an obscene amount of time trying to cultivate. Predictably, I have had a pretty dismal return on my investment (just like the bailout!) An answer here and there, of course, but more Judy Blume, less Paramahansa Yogananda.

In any case, after some time lying in prop-assisted Supta Baddha Konasana, I experienced a patently unmistakeable out-of-body experience complete with involuntary vision and movement. It was enthralling and omnipotent, exalted and transcendant, of another plane of being, and completely withdrawn from the human identity of a body or an "I". I'll leave it there and hope it happens again.